Thursday, September 25, 2014
My Significant Moment
I can totally relate to being in a situation but not being able to
fully express how I felt about the situation. The one thing that comes
to mind is a situation that happend to me when I was younger. My mom
abandoned my sisters and I at my grandmother's house so we were forced
to move with our father. After two years or so my mom began to come back
around. Of course I still loved her but I had built up resentment
toward her. She would always get into altercations with my stepmom and
repeatedly expressed the fact that she wanted us to come back home. I
was only in the fourth grade so i knew only half of whats going on. My
daddy would ask us all of the time did we want to go back. So many
thoughts and emotions would run through my tiny head. I wanted to go
back but then i didnt, i also didnt want to hurt his feelings. Looking
in his eyes I could see the hurt at my indecisivness. My reply would
always be '' I dont know" because I didnt know how to express my
feelings to him. In actuality my heart ached. After that I always had
sort of an attitude towards my mom growing up. We never learned how to
talk to one another. Every reaction to a problem was an argument. There
was something no one else knew and what i didnt dare show anyone. The
day she left us and told us she was going to be right and never came it
hurt me deeply. It was something i never got over even after we were
back living with her. My dad used to often ask am I ohkay and me reply
would be " Yes I'm good". But I never was and even if i tried i dont
think I could ever even began to express how much she hurt me and my
sisters, there are no words. Ive never been the emotional type, Im
really a person of few words. So expressing myself is pretty difficult
for me. So I fully understand not being able to present meaningful
experiences in words.
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I agree with you because when you are hurt sometimes you can’t express your feelings so you are rude instead of expressing your feelings. The story “Love Hurts” says, “Love, arguably the most positive of all human emotions, also comes with a dark side.” I do believe love does have a dark side because when you are hurt you try to retaliate against the people are trying to make the situation better. Instead of talking things out, you just want to hold everything in and turn against them. I do believe how you have been hurt and what you have been through makes you who you are. If you have been hurt you don’t really want to get close to anyone or trust anyone. You could express to other people what you have been through but instead you rather stay away and be stand offish. This reminds me of how language can’t express your emotions so language fails. You didn’t know how to express your feelings or say how you are feeling. It is really hard to act okay, when you have your emotions bottled up inside. I think the more you hold them in the worse they get and you start showing them in negative ways.
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