Love man

In the video "Love: You're Doing it Wrong" the speaker explains how our own desire for value from others is actually what lowers our own value. It gives us inherent value. This being said it is the source of our insecurities, In Love: Hurts they talk about the jealousy within that insecurity, which is derived from studies that consist of partners with intense love for each other. This jealousy is explained by the frenchmen as a way of exposing what we value most in ourselves and in others. On a personal note I can personally vouch for this man when he says we really do seek value from others. It is undoubtebly true, in order to feel positive emotions we have to seek those out from others and when we do not seek that value it is what causes these insecure emotions and is what creates couples obsessed with "performance". I believe the two articles integrate are similar within each other. in an accurate description, they are both about love being sought out and the emotions that can get mixed in the process.

On Love

There’s a similar thread that I think connects at least three of the readings together. Love: You’re Doing It Wrong, What Makes Us Happy, and The Epistle of Paul share this counterintuitive concept: that love, happiness, and life are not about all of the gains or the great moments that come from these, but is rather about the acceptance, the embracing of the really crappy parts. Love: You’re Doing It Wrong defines Love as being tenderness or the acceptance of weakness. In the interview from What Makes Us Happy,  Vaillant describes The Good Life as not the pride of your accomplishments, but as the contentment of the summation of the experiences you’ve gathered through out your life. The Epistle of Paul also has this idea of a well lived life as being the embracing of the mysteriousness that life so often brings to the table. The reading that seems to stick out the most of all of these is Love Hurts. I also really enjoyed the title of this reading because one of my favorite bands, Incubus, has a song entitled Love Hurts. This reading sticks out to me because whereas the other readings define things such as The Good Life or Happiness or Love, this reading seems to not define any of the terms or add any knowledge to the topic at hand (love). Instead it just tells us how that term affects our behavior and actions. The other readings answer the question, “What?” where this reading answers the question, “How?” Which is not that big of a surprise to me. I find myself in a strange position because typically I am the biggest proponent of science and I generally believe that science is the best tool to help us understand our external reality. But now I am beginning to see how science may not have a place in the discussion of “What is The Good Life, Love, and Happiness?” These questions belong to the Humanities which help us to understand, as opposed to science, our internal reality. The Humanities have a stronger grasp on that which cannot be measured. 

Reading similarities comparison

I found a few ideas from the two readings assigned this week that were similar in a way to those discovered from the grant study. In short, the grant study showed that love is the key to happiness. Warm, loving relationships in an individual’s life led to overall happiness, especially in retrospect during the later years. In the Ted Talk, Yann del’Aglio defines love as our desire to be desired. We all have the freedom to value things, but everyone else has those same freedoms, consequentially everyone is aspiring to be valued. He describes it as a race for seduction, and that we all are essentially victims of seduction capital and labeling ourselves with worth. If one becomes too consumed in this perfection driven seduction capital world, then he may become one who never finds love. Yann claims that to be able to hold back our craving for value, we must understand that we’re all worthless. In loving each others weaknesses, we can find true love, and not loneliness. In the grant study, as the men involved grew older and their relationships got stronger, they found that they were happier. It took many of life’s obstacles for the men to reach a point of sustained happiness. I feel as if they had to experience life to fully appreciate and understand happiness through connections and love, rather than personal gain or status. This relates to the ted talk speech because they needed to be able to understand their worthlessness and find happiness in what they did have, instead of looking for perfect. No matter the pain suffered through life, it can always get better, and in the study life tended to get better. In love hurts, the “dark side” of love was demonstrated through jealousy. It’s natural for us as loving creatures to defend what we love. In defending what we love, we ensure that it is something that lasts, for the happiness of an honest long relationship is ideal (I guess). The power of love that brings people together is what led to the general message of happiness being found in love.

Love-9/29/14

There are many similarities that I have found between this week’s readings and last week’s readings.  In the video for Love- you’re doing it wrong, the speaker says that “Love is the desire to be desired.”  In last week’s reading of the Grant Study, George Vaillant claims that “reaction formation allows us to care for someone else when we wish to be cared for ourselves.”  These two quotes speak very loud and clearly to I think all humans.  These quotes are expressing our immense desire as individuals to be wanted, as much as we want other people.  Whether or not this is truly what love should be defined as, I do believe it is something that makes every single one of us happy.   If we did not crave desire why would we dress nice and (in a girl’s case) fix our hair and makeup, just to run to the local grocery store?  I do not think necessarily that love is simply “our desire to be desired,” but I do believe that it plays a large part in our relationships.  In this week’s reading Love Hurts (Other People), it speaks about jealousy and how we tend to put others down who could be a threat to our love life, “the surge of romantic love leads them to derogate these people.”    I think this links back to wanting to be desired because no one wants to see their significant other desire other people, so some people’s reaction is to make them look less desirable so that our desirability shines brighter than theirs.  It also links back to the grant study and how “it is very hard for most of us to tolerate being loved,” because when we are loved and are in love, it means that we have opened up our hearts and are at high risk of being hurt.  Whereas if we did not allow love to come into our lives, we would not have these risks.  Even though this is not how I think life should be looked at, I find it to be true, but for us to find ultimate happiness I think that we must also find some kind of love in our lives as well. 

My Significant Moment

  I can totally relate to being in a situation but not being able to fully express how I felt about the situation. The one thing that comes to mind is a situation that happend to me when I was younger. My mom abandoned my sisters and I at my grandmother's house so we were forced to move with our father. After two years or so my mom began to come back around. Of course I still loved her but I had built up resentment toward her. She would always get into altercations with my stepmom and repeatedly expressed the fact that she wanted us to come back home. I was only in the fourth grade so i knew only half of whats going on. My daddy would ask us all of the time did we want to go back. So many thoughts and emotions would run through my tiny head. I wanted to go back but then i didnt, i also didnt want to hurt his feelings. Looking in his eyes I could see the hurt at my indecisivness. My reply would always be '' I dont know" because I didnt know how to express my feelings to him. In actuality my heart ached. After that I always had sort of an attitude towards my mom growing up. We never learned how to talk to one another. Every reaction to a problem was an argument. There was something no one else knew and what i didnt dare show anyone. The day she left us and told us she was going to be right and never came it hurt me deeply. It was something i never got over even after we were back living with her. My dad used to often ask am I ohkay and me reply would be " Yes I'm good". But I never was and even if i tried i dont think I could ever even began to express how much she hurt me and my sisters, there are no words. Ive never been the emotional type, Im really a person of few words. So expressing myself is pretty difficult for me. So I fully understand not being able to present meaningful experiences in words.

Happiness

A statement that really stuck out to me is when Vailliant refers to William Blake and his words about how "Joy and woe are woven fine...The bright side of pain- how adaptations can allow us to turn dross into gold...the dark side of pleasure and connection - or at least, the way that our most profound yearnings can arise from our most basic fears." Dove states "to connect to the outside with an interior presence one must absorb the mysterious into the tangle of contradictions and longings that form each one of us." I find these words very intriguing and relatable. The "contradictions" and paradoxes of our hearts must be acknowledged. I agree that people go though awful, woeful times so that they can appreciate the good times and that happiness is the acceptance that life sucks sometimes, shitty things happen and all we can do is chose which defense mechanism, how mature about it we want to be. 

I honestly didn't really like Rita Dove's The Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Ephesians. Maybe I'm just ignorant of the real point, but I found her doubt in Paul and God kind of...immature? Maybe that's not the right word, but when she states that, ''To hold the mind accountable-surely this wasn't what God had meant." Analyzing the carefree thinking of adolescence compared to the orderly conformed actions of adults in their everyday routine. Dove rejected the truth that God does indeed hold us accountable for not only our actions but our thoughts as well. We are to live faithful to the commandments of God in every part of our life, be it, physical or mental. "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" (2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV). Thus, bringing honor and glory to our Majesty the Lord Most High. When we fail to keep our thoughts pure and glorifying to God we hinder our walk with Him. Surely someone who has been going to church for such a long time would have came to this same conclusion and if she did in fact why didn't she mention that? I feel that faith and religion is a direct root to happiness. No one is perfect and we all think and even do things that God wouldn't approve of, but in the end all we have to do is ask for forgiveness; happiness because of God's grace and mercy on us is where I find real joy.

Comment post

In “The Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Ephesians” the writer, Rita Dove, says that she used to use posters in her study and other “cozy” items so as she can write her poetry more comfortably.  She moves into a new study and describes it as the most “nondescript room I had ever written poetry in.” In her past she would have begun to fill the room with personal items but after six months she still has not done so and has kept it very plain.  She now states that it helps her to focus on her poetry and “a window has opened.” I think that this is an example of the fact that we try to please others before ourselves far too often.  Our lives are the poems she is writing and all our distractions that involve us trying to please others before ourselves are the items which she used to put in her study.  When we try to make others happy when we are not, we are constantly in this cycle of misery.  Even though we are miserable we think it is alright because other people do not seem miserable like we are.  But the truth is that we are the most important thing to ourselves, no matter how conceded that may sound.  So one of our ultimate goals should be to please ourselves, which in turn will make us enjoyable to be around, because most people find happiness just in positive company.   Happiness comes from within and it shines through us all in different ways but without our own happiness how can we all truly find this pure happiness and love with others.

Happiness Is a Choice

  Both authors seem to have different views on how happiness is portrayed. The author of "What Makes Us Happy?" concludes from the cases that happiness does not come from ones self but from those around us. While Rita Dove looks at happiness from a spiritual view. She mentions how she would see the older women from the church "get happy" by the Holy Spirit falling upon them.
From my point of view, happiness is a choice. Everyone in this world has the choice to either be happy or sad and knows what brings happiness into their lives. Another way to say this is trying to stay and think positive.

Happiness

I find comfort in Paul's epistle to the Ephisians. Being raised Catholic, I've always been told "place your faith and trust in God, and you will always be happy." I feel this eludes to placing your trust in others allows you to live a happy life. As Joshua Wolf Shenk reads into case 141, a person is being questioned as to what happened to their happy nature. Seeing what you could have become as opposed to what you are is something that can bring many down, as can not living up to the expectations of those you trust and look up to. This ties in with Paul telling us to trust in The Lord. People don't typically pride themselves in disappointing the one they refer to as their god, nor do they want to disappoint their parents. Letting down those who look over you in the quickest way to become unhappy. It is human nature to want to impress those we look up to, or those who have taken special interest in us. Once we realize what we are capable of, we begin to look inward as to why we want to impress certain people and why they matter to much to us, and in the end it is seen that once we achieve pleasing our superiors, we can't help but be happy with ourselves.

Comparison/My own thoughts

I find that actually, both of the readings share a similar idea of the answer to the Good Life: which is the acceptance of the unknown and horrendous. The Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Ephesians, the author states that “to connect to the outside with an interior presence must absorb the mysterious.” And in What Makes Us Happy, Vaillant states that being happy is the acceptance of the really crummy parts of life. This way of thinking seems to align with my train of thought as well. Pain and Suffering is unavoidable. If one were to understand that life will, almost guaranteed to, have some very negative occurrences in it, then one would not be so consumed with grief. When I encounter a situation that is not the best for me, I accept it us unchanging and bound to happen. I know that this is a small example, but just other day I came home from a long day of school and work and all I wanted to do was eat. So I pulled this tray of sandwiches that my room mate got from a social gathering out of the refrigerator and I placed them on the counter. When I went to go get a plate, all (roughly 15) of the sandwiches fell onto the floor. My first reaction was to be absolutely furious but I took a step back and thought, “Things like this have to happen eventually.” And I then proceeded to just laugh it off and gathered on “Oh Well” attitude towards it. 

The Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Ephesians

I found a connection in “The Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the Ephesians,” by Rita Dove. I liked how she incorporated religion into being happy. When Rita Dove goes through her childhood and how she grew up, I could identify with her outlook on life and how it slowly began to change. As a child she found herself full of guilt because she did not think she connected with God like all the other members of the church. She found herself believing that God didn’t like intelligence, however she knew she couldn’t be blamed for the information she was told. She continued to grow up in the church still and learned about Saul who became Paul. She found herself questioning how one could just change their views and completely flip their life around in just three days. She began to question everything including happiness. She didn’t understand at first how one person could just change so quickly. Rita Dove went into her own isolation. She had been hurt and was at an all time low, just like Saul was. She began to realize just how good it felt to have a change come over you. She completely changed in her own ways, she was no longer a person that admired the small details, but instead was a person who was okay with the simplicity of things. Happiness can come in all different shapes and sizes depending on who you are, but for Rita Dove, happiness came from a change within her. A change that would have never taken place if it weren’t for her religious background.

Comment Post

Love is an interesting feeling, making it even more of an interesting word. It's a word that has the power to convey an attitude and compare material and non material things and associate them with their worth. The power of love results in actions that seem irrational, yet those somewhat ridiculous actions somehow seem acceptable because love is relatable. In the experiments involving long term relationship students in the writing by Stephanie Pappas, love created a hostile attitude towards others of the same gender. It's as if love were a priceless valuable gem that the beholder will sacrifice to protect. The connection between this article and the ted talk by the french guy is that nearly blind trust by two imperfect individuals is required, and the sacrifice given up is self mockery. Jealousy is a threat that causes the guard of them gem to increase, and causes the trust to decrease and the real sacrifice to fade. Love is essentially a gambling game, where both partners must get over imperfections and the gem of love must be embraced rather than protected. Modern love proves to be a fantasy because "perfect love", an oxymoron, is what everybody hopes for. It's very hard to give up our own fantasies built off a fake ass society and really get to know people, because it's clear that we must truly embrace their imperfections rather than judge them. Good luck with that though. Imperfections is all we have. It's as if there's a wall between us and truth. Love turns into a synonym for want, rather than a true meaning that can only be shown in a true love scenario. I find it impossible to find true love with another human, unless they have considered the real meaning of life and their place in life. Real love comes in the form of love of life itself. We must give up our individual wants and find the interconnection between every single living thing on earth. We must appreciate that we're even alive, and find others who are humble in that aspect. Those who look for acceptance through material items and hope for others to love them, to be someone's idol, will always fall short of love. 

happiness

The author claims that the source of happiness doesnt come from you, it comes from those around you. For example trying to be funny, its something that you cant just enjoy yourself it has gain happiness around you which then makes that person truly happy. In my perspective I think happiness is only built through desire and achievement. If you achieve something, Isn't that one of the best feelings of happiness? Or having the desire to have or reach something is happiness. If you have desire in your life, I believe you are at least somewhat happy. Happiness is a complex feeling but when it comes down to it, its really just a feeling of absorbing ourselves within our own endeavors.

Proof! Human Language Gene Helps Mice Learn Tasks

This article relates to the Words That Change the World podcast y'all listened to.

"This really is an important brick in the wall saying that the form of the gene that allowed us to speak may have something to do with a special kind of learning, which takes us from having to make conscious associations in order to act to a nearly automatic-pilot way of acting based on the cues around us," says MIT's Ann Graybiel, one of the professors conducting the research.

 

Disagreeing with "This Is Water" 1st Blog Post

David initially states that deep down we’re all naturally self-centered. But how could we be? I disagree with this solipsism. If one lives in any type of society that requires some type of or at least some level of social interaction, then it’s pretty hard to be naturally solipsistic. One would not be able to sustain oneself if this were the case. So I think from the day the we begin to be integrated into society, we have to learn how to consider other’s thoughts, other’s feelings, other reactions to how we interact with them. I don’t think that naturally we gravitate towards solipsism. It seems to me that each us has to be altruistic. It’s unnatural for us to be solipsistic. The author also presumes that one’s individual is more real than that shared with others. There is a very common thought that is circulating amongst neo-intellectuals. That thought is that we exist, not as individuals, but as nodes, networks, and systems. That reality can only exist when experienced and communicated with others. It is often said that you can’t conceive of something for which you have no words. Reality is especially vivid when one communicates their experience with others. He also states there is no such thing as atheism which I found strange. I understand the point that he’s trying to get across, that we have to worship something even if it’s money. But atheism is defined as an absence of belief in God where “god” is typically defined as an anthropomorphic being and money, things, etc. are not anthropomorphic beings. So atheism can exist. And ‘worship’ is defined as to show reverence and adoration for something. I think that it’s certainly possible to not show reverence for something. Nihilists will typically not have adoration for anything. On the better end,  some Buddhists are not allowed to worship as that will lead to harm and suffering. And I also be so bold as to say that we get to choose how we see the world. That seems to be ultimately up to external factors. For example, if someone read this article, then they were influenced by the author and responded to neural impulses. That to me doesn’t seem to be much of a choice, at least one that’s dependent entirely on the individual. 

Relatable

I don’t think that “Relatable” is as problematic a word as the author seems to think it is. I think that reliability is an important literary device that is applicable to various facets. To say that something is relatable allows you to experience the entertainment at a deeper you live. You can empathize with the characters. You can live vicariously through the film or book. You feel a connection to what you’re looking at. The author, however, did make me realize how often this word has come up when critiquing something. I never noticed that I do this. It is useful to use this word too because it is a realistic expectation to have for a piece of entertainment. Before you used to just be a person viewing what’s happening in the play or movie or back from the outside looking in. But now you look from within and feel so much if a playwright is relatable. That is a very, very potent effect that it can have on you. And that’s why I don’t think it is problematic. I actually think, on the contrary, that it is very, very significant and not problematic. The word relatable is very helpful in teaching also. A hard time that some teachers have is making their particular subject of interest relatable to their students. And the students only care about something if it is involved in their direct experience of reality. But if used properly, which I don’t is necessarily hard to do, then the word relatable is very powerful. The best way to learn is from direct experience so if teachers can incorporate their subject into the student’s life, they will be much more likely to not only learn the concept, but also appreciate on a deeper level and will be able to recall taught information via the memory of their own lives. Relatable is not problematic. We should accept the usage of the word and learn to use is it completely to our advantage. It will make an experience that much more distinct and profound. 

Relatability

I would have to say that I do not agree with Rebecca Mead.  As humans we do enjoy things that are relatable to our own lives, but that is not all that we crave.  We are always trying to learn new things, whether in research or just by observing other people.  Take the movie “The Fault in Our Stars” for example, most of us have never had cancer and lost someone we were in love with to the evil disease and hopefully none of us ever will, but that movie still generated much conversation and was extremely successful in the box office.  People went and bought tickets because, for most of us, the situation these young people were in is a pure mystery. As humans, most of us enjoy being able to have sympathy for others who may be going through a tough patch in their lives.   Relatability to the average American was rarely shown for the majority of the movie, granted that there were most likely a few people that did have a similar experience.  This is a perfect reason why relatability will never be as important as Mead likes to say it is.  No two people have had the exact same experience, therefore it would be virtually impossible to make these things relatable, and ultimately the fact of things being relatable is simply just not as important.  Relatability is something that we enjoy in our lives because it is like a safe haven, a comfortable area for us, but that is not the only thing that we care about, and there are many more reasons for us to enjoy any types of media.

"Relatable"

I would have to disagree with Rebecca Mead. I do not think that the word is a problem because as generations grow people tend to use them in their own way. The word has the same meaning wether you chose to add your own definition by all means feel free but the definition to "relatable" has the same meaning as it did before. The word "relatable" means something you can relate too not something that is exactly the same, it's just something you can see because it's happen to you. Each generation uses their word in the way they have been taught to use it. Being of Mexican decent we tend to tell people that are fully Mexican by the word "nopal" (cactus) on their forehead. Not by necessarily having a cactus stuck to your forehead but because they look really Mexican. We tend to relate the word "nopal" as the symbol of Mexican's because it is proudly symbolized in our Mexican flag. Like I said everyone changes words however they see it best fits. This word is not problematic, I don't see why it honestly would be. We have to understand that people see everything differently from us, no one thinks exactly the same as us. In my opinion this word is not a problem once more, i just think that people need to stick with the real definition and there won't be no more confusion, of course they won't listen to me on this but if we kept the words originally with what they meant understanding stuff would be so much better and more clear.

I don't think the word relatable is as problematic as the author is making it out to be. I believe we can relate to a lot of things in life. Maybe not exactly but we've come into contact with a lot of things that are similar or we know of people who might share the same experience. I disagree with Glass saying Shakespeare is not relatable. With Romeo and Juliet, we may not all have that person in our life that not having them makes life not worth living, but we may hold a belief that near and dear to our hearts, like Christianity. People are willing to die for what they believe. Like in Macbeth, some people are just crazed buy power; they live for power. And eventually with that hunger, you lose yourself and it ends up in destroying you. Like in Twelfth Night, sometimes we portend to be someone we're not to try and maybe get close to someone or to get higher up on the totem pole. I don't know why Glass believes  Shakespeare isn't relatable? Sure some of his work is out there and connecting your life to something like Twelfth Night is pretty far fetched, but they reasoning behind the characters actions would be similar to some of our own. We're all connected by similar experiences. Almost all of us have experienced a death in the family or have shared the same love for a hobby.  We have all wanted to fit in or have that hunger for power/authority. Mead made a point about how a hundred years ago the word relatable meant to relate to someone or share an experience, but now its become uncommon? I don't think that's true. I hear that word a lot. I think it holds the same meaning as it always has. Mead also made a point about how the word was only used in the sixteen times in Times magazine five years ago. Just because the word isn't specifically used doesn't mean that the meaning has changed. Unless I've completely misunderstood it's meaning, I personally don't see the significances of this article.

Question #2

I do agree with Anzaldúa. The first amendment, which is the right to free speech, is the right to express one's opinions or thoughts publicly. So why was it so wrong for Anzaldúa to speak Spanish? "Attacks on one's form of expression with the intent to censor are a violation of the first amendment." I do think it is a violation because no one has the right to tell what you can or can not speak.  Key word, FREE speech. Then there is speech, as in her or anyone else's language. Everyone is born with these natural rights, but of course not everyone is born in the same culture. Spanish was her culture, so who is anyone to say that someone's native language is right or wrong and not allowed. It's like saying any of the other races are not allowed to speak their own language, something they most likely grew up speaking first, because it is "wrong". Someone's language is part of their identity, their background, who they are. They are being who they are so why be put to shame. "I remember being caught speaking Spanish at recess -- that was good for three licks on the knuckles with a sharp ruler" is what I think is an example of her claim that it was an act of violence. It's not right for her to get punished just for speaking another language. She was brought up as child speaking Spanish, its not her or anyone's fault. She did nothing wrong but to speak in which she supposedly has the right to do.

Relatability

Relatable is a term that most people are using now days. The term however, has so many meaning that it is not even identified as a word in the 2008 version of Microsoft Word. Before I read “The Scourge of ‘Relatability’” by Rebecca Mead, I never saw this word as problematic; however, I now understand why this word could have so many problems. The word relatable has adapted new meanings since the beginning of time. Over a hundred years ago, if someone said something was relatable, they just meant that it could be told. Then when Shakespeare would use the word “relate” he simply meant the one could connect to some other thing. As you can see the meanings are slowly starting to change.  Recently, the word relatable is used when someone is describing a situation or person that someone ordinary might see themselves connecting with. I am guilty of throwing this term around carelessly and expecting people to have the same definition. I now realize that there is a better term to use. Identification means to develop your own personality through admiring and imitating a family member or other figure. The word identification or to identify is a better term to use rather than the term relatable or relatability. I find that the term relatable is often a very selfish term and makes a person consider themselves the center of attention because it takes away the reason for making the story. Relatable to be thought of as a person somehow thinking the story was made to accommodate them, and expects the work to be done for them. Instead of saying that a character is relatable, you can say that you identify with a charcter. For example if you have seen the movie the notebook, more than likely your love story did not go exactly like Noah and Allie’s did, so if you were to say you relate to their story it would be the same thing as saying that the story was created to please you and that can be very selfish. If you were to say you can identify with Noah and Allie, you would be saying that yes, you were actively engaged in the story and could see yourself in some of the situations that they faced as characters. Reading this piece of writing has made me realize the difference in the two terms. I never once saw the word relatability as a problem until now.

Relatable

Relatablility is not as necessary as the author makes it out to be. Yes, it does help connect with people, but at the same time, it causes you to try too hard to be relatable with everyone. There was a girl I once knew who tried to relate herself to everything on the face of the earth, and tried way too hard. In the beginning she was pretty cool, and I felt like she would be someone I could get along with and hang out with. Slowly I started to realize, she was a total creep. I went to the restroom one day, just to come bak to her on my phone reading through my texts and texting my boyfriend back. Being relatable has to come naturally. Forcing it forces people away more than anything. The author makes a huge deal about how she thinks that being relatable is problematic. I think being relatable is only problematic when someone takes the stance on it as that girl did. When someone has to try to be relatable, that sets them even farther apart from anyone else. Relatability is something that comes naturally. Shakespeare, for example, is one of the most relatable play writes in the history of ever. Almost every story written after him has a similar story line and theme. Through Shakespeare, every female age 14-18 has related at some point, in one way or another, to Juliet. Not necessarily the idea of killing ones self over a guy after knowing him for 5 days, but having that moment of thinking "OMG I cannot live with out him, I love him so much, I'll never love another" and you're just like chill y'all dated for a week. You know the type. But through Shakespeare, many girls were able to relate to Juliet. Or perhaps a young man related to Hamlet thinking that no one would listen him or that no one understood him. Regardless how or why, many people have related to many Shakespearean plays over the years. Being relatable can help with someone's P.R., or with simply bonding with someone, but isn't as problematic as the author states. Only when someone loses track of who they truly are, does it become a problem.

Important moment 9/9/14

"There are moments when the body is as numious as words," by Robert Hass. This quote grabbed my attention.
Back to my story though, my grandmother passed away because of cancer. So you can only imagine the whole families reaction, losing someone you love has to be the worst feeling in the world. None of the family knew she had caner. My grandmother was so young, and just two days before she left us she was playing with us sand volleyball out in the heat, and let me tell you my grandmother is a beast! Everyone wanted that woman or their team. It was so odd that no one noticed that something was wrong, but then again she was so good at hiding it.  I know they say they don't have favorites but I was her favorite I was her first granddaughter and I was always around her plus she would treat me differently, she was so inspirational and knew what to always say. I was at her house once and I was helping her clean around, we were moving furniture around and we but we were exhausted. I saw her sit on one of the couches holding on to her chest and I could hear her try and speak to me but I couldn't fully understand what was happening, I started freaking out. I got her some water and let me tell you I was only 12 so what was I suppose to do I knew nothing about cancer. After that she would just tell me that its because all the moving was tiring so that's what I thought. The day she was in the hospital she wanted to talk to everyone one on one because she wanted to talk to us all, the doctors said she was fine and it was nothing serious. It was my turn to go in the room, we were talking about how she felt and she told me that she was fine she was just really tired, I had asked her if what the doctor had said was true and she would be OK, she responded me with "of course you know I'm a strong woman" I smile as I type this because I still hear her voice say that phrase in my head till this day. She grabbed my hand and said never forget how much I love you, her hand slowly stated getting weaker and weaker I looked up and she finally let go. My grandmother had passed away. It still kills me inside to realize that 1 I could've prevented this if I was smarted and told my my mother what I would always see when I was with her. 2 it hurts so much that I was right next to her when she left me. I haven't recovered since then, it still hurts till this day to try to remember what had happen that day, its been over 6 years and it still hurts me because I feel like it's my fault. I could've done something to prevent it from happening. She always told me she wanted to be a teacher better yet a Spanish teacher and teach students a second language, I'm living her dream. I also want to become a teacher better yet a Spanish teacher, my grandmother would've been proud so see me come this far and I know she's proud where ever she is watching me from.

Last Dance

Throughout my four years of high school I was proudly on my schools auxiliary/dance team. It was finally my senior year and I couldn't have been happier. Through so many hot summer days outside with the band, long late hours stuck at the school, pain and dedication beyond belief, senior year was coming to an end and it was almost time for our annual spring show. About two weeks before we hit the stage, my worst fear happened. Practicing for our high-kick dance, we were going over our jump split part and was about to attempt it. Prepping, knees bent ready to jump up, I feel the girl next to me slip as I fling my right leg forward and my left leg back. She slipped holding on to me still, pulling me down with her really fast and caused me to land wrong in the splits. Pain struck me. I fell over, crying, as I couldn't move my right leg. It was quick, but I felt the sharp pain, a ripping feeling going down the back of my thigh. I couldn't help but think I had to continue but I couldn't even get myself up. I torn my hamstring.
I think I was more sad of the fact that I had to sit out from dancing. Doctor advised me to not dance for about a month but I didn't want to end my senior year not being able to be on that stage. I took care of my leg; icing/heating it, took it REAL easy, and stretching it a bit here and there. Soon I was able to make a fast recovery! In no time I was able to do the dances more full out. It was finally our spring show and I couldn't have been more excited. Doing our last dance, the high-kick, is when I felt so much emotion. The thought of never giving up in what I love to do ran through my mind. It was bitter-sweet to think this was my last performance with my second family. The curtains opened up and the lights shined upon us. I danced with my head held high with pride and a big smile on my face. I pointed my toes in my white boots, kicked so high I almost hit my face, and landed the jump split part (safely this time). I ended the dance with a smile from ear to ear and a tear from the hard work I went through. To me, the ability to dance in different ways, to express emotion through the sound of music, is more than what language can do. 

important moment in my life

When I was a kid I absolutley loved my grandfather. I called him PawPaw. He was probably the greatest man I have and will ever know. He would help me with my reading skills. He taught me how to drive a John Deer Gator at the age of 6. He taught me how to check the oil in his old, red, Ford, pickup truck at the age of 12. We would take walks down the gravel driveway to the mailbox and stop at the Persimmon tree and eat some. We would sit out on the wooden deck and drink coffee while he pointed out all the different kinds of birds while a cool breeze ran through the wind chimes. We would walk around the backyard and pick up all the pecans that had fallen from the giant Pecan trees. I would sit with him in the barn as he would fix his enormous John Deer tractor that was the size of a monster truck. Needless to say this man, Hilton Bernard Caston, was my hero, my best friend, my PawPaw. When I was about 8, he had a stroke that he never fully recovered from. At the time I didn't really understand what was happening or what he was going through. A couple of years after his stroke signs of Dementia started to appear and pretty soon it came in full force. Some days he would be that awesome loving man and others he couldn't remember my name. If my grandmother, Nanny, had to go run errands, he couldn't stay home alone for long periods of times because he would  forget to eat and wouldn't be able to do things on his own. When I was in seventh grade he was about 82 years old. Toward the end of the school year, my mother got a call from my aunt, her sister Cindy, that their father had a heart attack. My mom got this call while I was in school and my dad came and picked me up. He took me to Shipley's and I got a blueberry iced cake donut. As I was eating this amazing creation, I was told this earth shattering news.  I remember thinking that I should be there with him, I needed to be there with him. PawPaw was hospitalized for four days and during those four days I remember begging my parents to let me go, but I never got the chance. On the fourth day, April 12, 2009, my best friend passed away. I don't know if I can fully explain to you how I felt. What I can tell you is that I cried for what seemed like a lifetime. I didn't know that the body could produce so many tears. I didn't know one could feel that way. I pray none of y'all would ever have to go through something like this and if you have, you're a trooper.

Euphoria

Waves. Energy and people. Thousands of bodies around each other. It was as if the entire crowd was a single person. After an hour and a half of this human typhoon surging, everybody had become one person. The anticipation of what was to come left chills throughout my entire body and the overwhelming heat had been embraced for so long that it wasn't considered anymore. We were all one; sharing with one another, helping up those that had fallen. We had allowed flow of people engulf our bodies and minds, and getting lost wasn't even considered, since we'd begun lost. My legs we'rent supporting my body anymore, but I was still standing. My mind had released any worries and I felt connected with the world. I was one with everything around me. I found myself having a massive self realization, and then the music started. I found myself looking up into the sky. I was so lost in everything, and my mind was so free, yet in that moment I was able to find myself. Thousands of people filled up this open field, and regardless of the differences between them, their problems, or issues, every single person was so overwhelmed with happiness that there was an absence of judgement or hate or any sort of bad vibes. The bass from the speakers added to this tingling effect, literally, but I think the vibrations in music have that power. Music lets us feel the music rather than just hear it, and there's a connecting factor to music that is beautifully indescribable.  If I could better provide details of the mental realization rather than the physical realization, this ACL festival experience would be crazy to read about. Go to ACL!

9/9/14

This past November I was at volleyball practice preparing for our regional quarterfinal playoff game the next day.  I got a set and on my way down from hitting I felt my knee completely give. In a split second I was on the ground, and in shock. I wasn’t sure what had just happened, but I knew I heard a loud pop when I landed. As all eyes were on me as I tried to stand up, and went back to the ground with a tremendous pain in my knee.  This pain completely overtook my entire body and I began to cry.  I could not express what was going on and I now felt scared because I didn’t know what was wrong and I didn’t want to let my teammates down. After what seemed like forever the trainer ran out, and helped me get to the training room to evaluate my injury.  Still crying I could not pinpoint exactly where I was hurting because it seemed as though the pain had spread to my entire joint and then some.  The trainer did some tests and did not think anything was torn, but in the back of my mind I knew that I had done something significant to my knee.  He called my parents to come and get me from the school as I could not drive home.  I skipped school the next day and laid in bed with my knee elevated and ice on it, in an attempt to play that night.  Around lunch time the volleyball team got released from classes so I headed up to the school at this time.  At this point I could not bear weight on my left leg and I had to tell my teammates that I would be watching from the sidelines for the most important game most of us have ever faced.  I was heartbroken to say the least, but I did not want that emotion to spread to my teammates, so I put on a smile and supported them the whole way.  We played 4 matches and ended up losing and not advancing in playoffs. A few days later the results came in from my MRI and told me that I had torn my ACL and my meniscus, had a sprained MCL and my knee cap had popped out of place during it all.  I had surgery during Christmas break and followed up with six long months of physical therapy and just got released this past July. This experience was not an enjoyable one, but I believe it has made me a stronger person in all areas of my life, and if I had not gone to physical therapy I would not know that that is what I want as my future career. 

New York

         At the age of ten, my family made abrupt decision to pick up everything and move from Texas to New York. In years past, I had been the girl who had many thoughts but never spoke of them to anyone but my family. I was shy, insecure, and lonely. I had no friends, and most of the time sat or played by myself at recess. This move they spoke about frightened me. Sure enough, all my fears came true and we moved to New York.

         I was enrolled in school and went through the patterns of a normal fifth grade student, except at that time most people had all there friends and didn’t want a new girl to come in and mess everything up. I came home in tears and would just cry. I continued to beat myself down, why wasn’t I good enough, was I not  “cool” enough, what was I doing wrong? I was never able to find the answers to these questions. My daily routine was set in place, go to school, be made fun of, and then go home and cry. However I never understood that what the other students were doing wasn’t my fault. I always blamed myself, and I was always thought that I was at fault for why they hated me.

         All my feelings started to cause a spiral effect. I started to resent my parents for the move to this obnoxious place called New York, I locked myself in my room after school day to day, crying myself to sleep, I had no one and I was lost. This feeling was new to me, it’s like being all alone thrown out into the unknown wilderness and told to find your own way to survive. I was in a deep state of depression and never thought any one could help me. I never saw the attempt of the people trying to help because I was so set that it was my fault. I had a direct way of thinking and it was very one sided. Instead of doing something about what was going on, the bullying, I started to feel bad for myself. I saw everything as an attack, and thought my parents would never understand.

 As I grew up and attended counseling, I soon realized I was completely wrong. There was no point for my to be going through life alone. I no longer thought of myself running through the wilderness with no guide, I now had my counselor, my parents, and my sister helping me through everything and guiding me through my fears, the bullying, and all my other emotions going on inside of me. I was no longer alone. For the first time I learned it was okay to have my own thoughts, to be myself, and to speak up. It was at that point that I stood up for what bullying was doing to me emotionally. I learned how to be confident, and it felt as if my little world had fireworks exploding in it. My life was forever changed the day I lost all my insecurities and realized I didn’t have to face this terrifying world alone.